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By Jason Fortner
Each month, Jason Fortner spotlights one or more musical theatre composers
and/or lyricists, offering his own unique perspective on the songwriting legends
of musical theatre. Send your comments/questions on this column to
happgood@aol.com.
To access past Songwriters columns, click on the Songwriters archive
link to the left.
June 2008
"The Sincerest Form of
(Animated) Flattery"
To celebrate the onslaught of Summer, I decided this month to pay tribute to
Broadway parodies on network cartoons. This loving tributes to the Broadway
musical are often irreverent but always show an appreciation for the original...
Here's a few of my favorites...
LES MISERANIMALS - This was an ANIMANIACS episode featuring Bernadette
Peters and Frank Welker, originally aired on September 27, 1993. With songs
sounding like the Boublil/Schoeberg score, this episode of the series (which
always features fun musical numbers) is one of the best. Here's the official
synopsis:
Runt Valrunt escapes from Le Pound, imprisoned there because he stole a bone.
One of the guard dogs, Camenbert vows to track Runt down. A tavern owner,
Monsieur Tristesse, keeps many stray cats (les miseranimals) in a pen behind the
tavern. He has run out of meat for his meaty meat pies and his customers are
very unhappy. Mr. Tristesse decides to put the cats into his pies. Runt comes to
rescue Rita, but can't break her out. He goes away and comes back with a dozen
revolting pedigree poodles, and they dig under the wall of the pen and free the
cats. Mr. Tristesse grabs Rita before she can leave. Runt bites Mr. Tristesse,
and Rita and Runt escape. Runt is confronted by Camenbert (who was the one who
really stole the bone) when he gets out. Mr. Tristesse breaks down the wall of
the pen on top of Camenbert and himself. Runt, Rita, and the rest of the dogs
and cats run off to Paris.
Here's the song "Flat In Gay Paree", a parody of "Castle On A Cloud":
There is a flat in Gay Paree
Safe on a tree-lined avenue
No cats ŕ la carte on the menu
Not in my flat in Gay Paree.
There is a chef of fine cuisine
He is a vegetarian
As he prepares a fine banquet
He says, "Rita, you're my beloved pet."
I know a flat where I can nap
Safe on a chair or in a lap
I won't end up in a recipe
Not in my flat in Gay Paree.
Another favorite is "Do You Hear The Poodles Bark?":
Poodles: Do you hear the poodles bark?
Barking the barks of angry mutts.
Runt : It is the high-pitched yap of pedigree dogs
Whose mouths will not be shut.
Poodles: We will break down the prison wall
We will destroy the restaurant.
We're revolting poodles following Runt Valrunt!
Finally, here's "Master of the House" rethought as "Bitten In Ze Butt":
Tristesse: Bitten in ze butt
Got an awful tear
Took a little nibble from my derriere!
I will get you in ze end, dog
You'll regret you bit me, chum.
Ooh, I am so irritated
I got bitten in ze bum!
The ANIMANIACS often featured fun songs, including breathtaking patter
numbers about the United States, All The Countries Of The World and more. Here's
part one of the MISERANIMALS eleven minute episode on YouTube:
Good times!
FAMILY GUY may not be everyone's cup of tea, but creator Seth McFarlane
certainly loves his show tunes! From Stewie's dance with Gene Kelly to the
re-occurring Vaudeville Guy character, the musical spoofs never stop. Whether
it's Peter and the New England Patriots performing the entire "Shipoopi" number
from THE MUSIC MAN or the revamped community theater production of THE KING & I,
the musical numbers are always perfectly done and expertly orchestrated by
Walter Murphy. Over the years they've performed "So Long, Farewell" from THE
SOUND OF MUSIC, "Don't Rain On My Parade" from FUNNY GIRL and even "I've Grown
Accustomed To Her Face" from MY FAIR LADY, just to name a few.
When performing actual Broadway numbers like "Somewhere That's Green" or "The
Telephone Hour" the show tends to do the original lyrics, and frankly the show's
original; Broadway-esque numbers like "Prom Night Dumpster Baby", "Dying Boy of
Quahog", "Vasectomy" or "It's One Fine Day To Be Nude" are too hard to quote
and/or explain here!
Watch Stewie and company in
musical numbers from FAMILY GUY at
Family Guy.com.
Note: Some clips
contain adult material. Parental discretion advised.
Finally, we have THE SIMPSONS. This long running series has always had
a Broadway twist, with great numbers thrown in here and there over the years.
The parodies and tributes have ranged from Mr. Burns "See My Vest" to the
Monorail number, a la Professor Harold Hill. There's even a PLANET OF THE APES
musical and an episode featuring an animated Stephen Sondheim himself! (Of
course Krusty The Clowns "Send In The Clowns" IS a classic!
My personal favorite would be A STREETCAR NAMED MARGE, in which they present
the community theater musical version of A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE, retitled OH,
STREETCAR! This episode was written by Jeff Martin.
Here's a few of the songs... First is the seedy opening number, "New
Orleans":
Long before the Superdome
Where the Saints of football play...
Lived a city that the damned call home
Hear their hellish rondelet...
New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks and whores
New Orleans!
Tacky overpriced souvenir stores
If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip'
New Orleans!
Stinking, Rotten, vomiting, vile
New Orleans
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank
New Orleans
Next is a duet between Blanche and the Paper Boy, as played by Apu:
Blanche:
My name is Blanche DuBois.
I thought my life, would be a Mardi Gras..
A never-ending party... (pausa)
Ha! I'm a faded Southern dame without a dime...:
Paper Boy:
I'm collecting for the Evening Star.
Blanche:
Come here...
I want to kiss you, just once.
Softly, and sweetly... on your mouth...
Paper Boy:
I am just a simple paperboy, no romance do I seek.
I just wanted forty cents, for my deliveries last week.
Will this bewitching floozy seduce this humble newsie?
Oh, what's a paperboy to... doooooo?
And the finale, "You Can Always Depend On The Kindness Of Strangers":
Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...
You can always depend on the kindness of strangers to pluck up your spirits, and
shield you from dangers
Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret.
A stranger's just a friend you haven't met. You haven't met... Streetcar!
